Hurray for them!
No longer must devotees of the high heel suffer agonizing hours in a shoe store trying on pair after pair of delicious shoes. What a waste of time… we could be doing other things like giving ourselves a self tax audit… or ironing.
Who wants to look at all the pretty shoes!
Alas, scientists at the Institute of Physics (London, UK) have come up with a formula. To properly determine the maximum height of heel one can wear without incident. It is:
h = Q•(12+3s /8)
h is the maximum height of the heel (in cm)Q is a sociological factor and has a value between 0 and 1 (see below to work this out)S is the shoe size (UK ladies sizes). This factor makes sure that the base of support is just good enough for an experienced and sober, high-heel wearer not to fall over.
The variables are:
p – the probability that wearing the shoes will help you 'pull' (in a range from 0 to 1, where 1 is pwhooar and 0 is stick to carpet slippers). If the shoes are a turn-off, there's no point wearing them.
y – the number of years experience you have in wearing high heels. As you become more adept, you can wear a higher heel. Beginners should take it easy.
L – the cost of the shoes, in pounds. Clearly, if the shoe is particularly expensive, you can put up with a higher heel.
t – the time since the shoe was the height of fashion, in months (0 = it's the 'in thing' right now!).
One has to suffer for one's art, and if the shoes are terribly fashionable, you should be prepared to put up with a little pain.
A – units of alcohol consumed. If you're planning on drinking, be careful to give yourself a little leeway for reduced coordination
http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2004-03/iop-sch031904.php
The article goes on to say, “Essentially this part of the formula explains what women have always known – that you don't buy shoes just because they are comfortable, you can afford them and they look good – many other variables come into play" – quotes Dr. Stevenson.
Now would someone buy shoes just because they look good, they are comfortable and can be afforded. Oh yes, that’s what is on the mind of every stiletto purchaser as they saunter through their favourite shoe store front doors.
All we have to do is hand them a piece of paper with our formula and they can trot out the latest ashion from Blah & Boring located in Beigeville.
The point of this little formula was rather tongue in cheek, however, it leads one to believe that all this shoe fetish stuff is nothing but hooey.
Au contraire, mes amis. Once one is trapped in the clutches of shoe fetish, there is no escape. Formula or no formula. It is a passion. I remember when I tried on my first pair of 5" inch heels... I was beside myself. The first steps were like heaven. I was finally home.
Ps. I saw a some friends of mine downtown today, and one friend, well she was wearing a very tight black PVC skirt with corset-like lacing along with some delicious boots. Ahhh … if only more would …
Heelfully Yours
~ Gillian
Gillian, I read further into this article and I found it fascinating, to say the least. One question posed, that puzzled the physicists, is how women can wear and walk in them? Well, it's all about weight distribution and balance, as well as a great deal of practice. i have seen women wear ballet heels (somewhere in the range of 7 to 8 inch high heels) and it is amazing how women can walk in them, but I do know that prolonged walking, heck even just wearing them can cause some serious damage to the little piggies. I still find extreme heels sexy, to say the least and for a woman to wear them and walk in them, it's a real head turner!
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